Luna's Absolutely, Positively, Insane Relatives- Luna in Wonderland
by Emeraldvj
Summary: This is more about Luna Lovegood than any other HP character. In fact, they don't even show up in this, but they will be mentioned occasionally. This is the tale of a family of Lovegoods, and each of them as insane and crazy as the next. Now, Luna's visiting a distant cousin in a new part of England, but what happens when Alice Kingsleigh isn't everything that she seems to be?
1. Chapter 1

**Heza! I'm so sorry it took me so long to start this story. I promise that I won't ever give up on it, but please understand that as much as I want to dedicate my life to reading and writing fanfictions, I have an outside life too. Well, enjoy!**

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**Luna's Absolutely, Positively, Insane Relatives**

**Luna in Wonderland**

Chapter 1

Luna Lovegood's P.O.V.

I had just left platform 9 ¾ after another year of schoolwork and pesky knargles. I couldn't wait to frolic merrily in the fields, but my daddy said we were going to visit a distant cousin named Alice. Alice's closer friends and family were having a party for some odd reason, and they had invited almost everyone. I couldn't quite imagine what the big occasion was! When we got there, my heart did little flips to see that the party was taking place outdoors on a grassy field. I badly wanted to conjure my rabbit patronus and watch it hop around, but I wasn't sure if Alice had or knew about magic. As my eyes searched around the area, I saw a girl my age with dark blond hair follow two twin brunettes into the nearest alcove. Curious as I was, the fairies were warning me to be careful, so I did my best to follow them silently.

"Alice we have something to tell you-" one twin started.

"but we're not sure if we should-" the other continued.

"so we're going to tell it to you anyway." the first twin finished.

They rather reminded me of Fred and George Weasley. When I tried to get a closer look, I fell through the hedge I was hiding behind. I could clearly see Alice was wearing a bright blue dress similar to my yellow one, and the twins were wearing matching green dresses. Pretending to be innocent, I put on a smile and quickly said, "I'm looking for knargles. Have you seen any around here lately?"

Both twins gave me a funny look, but Alice replied to my question.

"No, I've not seen any err… knargles around here lately, but I'd be delighted to help you search for some."

It made me want to jump with joy that someone else actually believes in knargles, but I was still close to face-first on the grass.

"Well Alice," said one twin.

"I think we best be going-" started the other one,

"and leave you two to your… business." finished one of the two. They gave Alice a small smile and scurried out of the alcove.

"Luna Lovegood, pleasure to meet you," I greeted as soon as the twins left.

"Alice Kingsleigh," she replied equally pleased. "Those two are rather nosy, wouldn't you say so Luna?"

I nodded happily in agreement. I could tell we were going to get along finely.

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**Guess What!**

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW ****REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW ****REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW ****REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW ****REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW ****REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW**

**********************Well, I think you kind of get the point by now.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Heza! Thanks to anyone who's been reading both of my stories! I'll always try to update them as soon as possible, but please understand that I'm still just human and that I can't spend every moment of my life writing fanfictions. However, I do promise to never give up on this story. EVER!**

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Chapter 2  
Luna P.O.V.

"Luna, I can't find any nargles!" Alice shouted from the other side of the large, square hedge.

"Maybe you've got wrackspurts in your head- they make your brain all fuzzy!" I replied eagerly. Alice walked around to my side of the hedge and laid down in the soft, green grass staring up at the sky. After sighing quietly, she then motioned for me to lie down next to her. Carefully, I assumed the position she was in on the patch of grass next to her.

After a while, Alice asked: "Do you ever think you're insane, absolutely bonkers, off your rocker?"

Immediately, I replied: "Absolutely, all the time. In fact, I know I am." Alice glanced at me and gave me a silly grin.

I watched the clouds swirl around in funny white circles on the ocean blue sky. They sort of reminded me of my patronus. They were soaring and flying in all different crazy directions, and I'm sure that if clouds could be happy, they would look like they did right now. After spending the past hour or so with Alice, I had come to the conclusion that she was muggle. To be honest, I could care less if she was a muggle or a pureblood. It didn't matter what her status in life was because she a great distant cousin. Alice was like a sister to me. Besides, I wasn't a bloody Malfoy although we do have the same white- blond hair. If I wanted to, I could probably even fake it saying I was a Malfoy. After all, I am a pureblood and they do slightly resemble me. However, I am quite content to be a Lovegood. I personally think it suites me rather well.

"Do you believe in magic?" I asked her hesitantly. Alice seemed to ponder my question, as if she wasn't sure whether or not she believed in magic. Maybe she was just a squib.

"I suppose so," Alice answered satisfyingly. "I also believe in talking flowers, mad hatters, and white talking rabbits that carry around pocket watches because they're constantly late."

"Like that one over there?" I asked pointing in front of us. Alice quickly sat up and followed my finger with her gaze. Sure enough, a white rabbit in a costume was looking at us holding up a pocket watch and pointing at it.

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**Please review, favorite, follow, or generally just watch this story. it would mean a lot to me. :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Guess what? I'm finally back! I know it has been forever since I have updated, but I finally decided to get off my lazy but and start using my brain now that summer is here! By the way, I really need the help of all you peoples. I am not sure if I should keep my stories or delete them. I really don't want to leave you hanging by never finishing my stories, but at them same time, I have hope that I may finish them at one point. So, if you would be SUPER AWESOME AND PLEASE HELP MEEEEEEE by just leaving a review on each of my stories saying "keep" or "trash." "Keep" if I should leave my stories up, or"trash" if I should take them down.**

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""

Chapter 3

Luna P.O.V.

Suddenly, Alice jumped onto her feet and began to quickly chase the rabbit.

"Wait for me!" I cried out stumbling over myself to chase after her. Alice and I chased the rabbit through bushes and over a little brook. Finally, the little white rabbit dived down a rabbit's hole.

Walking up to her I asked, "What do you think is down there?" As she appeared to be in a state of shock or remembrance, Alice ignored my questions. Curious myself, I peered my nose into the rabbit hole. However, there wasn't much to see- literally. The hole appeared to be bottomless with only the sides of it visible. Before I could ask Alice anything, her hand slipped and she began to fall down the rabbit hole. Wanting to skip straight to the interesting part, I jumped down the rabbit's hole directly after Alice.

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**What did you think? If you suddenly read this right after I posted it, then there should be another chapter up in a couple minutes or at maximum an hour. **

**Read, Review, and Leave unecessesary comments that you think I should hear!**

**Your fellow fanfiction friend,**

**Emerald**


	4. Chapter 4

**It's a miracle! I'm actually keeping my promise about updating! Halleluiah!**

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Chapter 4

Luna Lovegood P.O.V.

The hole was magnificent. Now normally, I think everything is magnificent, phenomenal, mystical, magical even- but this hole was something else. Everything you could imagine was somewhere in the hole. Clocks, bookshelves full of books, a grand piano, nargles, wrackspurts, even thestrals. Of course, Alice couldn't see thestrals; I doubt she has seen a death in person. I could honestly tell if she did because she would have a confuzzled look on her face from all the wrackspurts in her head. Maybe I should write about all the terrible effects of wrackspurts in The Quibbler! I looked at Alice beside me. She appeared to be rather confused and scared. By the way, confuzzled is VERY different from confused and scared. Everyone knows confuzzled is from the wrackspurts in your head. Anyways, Alice seemed to be in a sort of remembrance trance. I, on the other hand, felt like I seemed to be in a dreamlike daze. What could Alice possibly be remembering? Suddenly, there was a change in gravity. I would have pulled out my wand, but I seemed to have lost it in my bottomless radish bag. They're quite fashionable with the garden gnomes, but it is rather easy to lose something difficult to find. Oh well, we all have our moments like those. Before I knew it, Alice and I were floating towards the ground like a sheet of parchment. Literally, it was quite dizzy and mind-blowing as I swayed and swung back and forth in the imaginary wind.

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**Read, Review, and Leave any Random Comments you think I should read!**

**Also, a special thanks to emsaduem for reminding me to do this to the point where I want to ignore her! (Which actually, mind you, is not a lot.)**

**The Random Trekkie Writing this Fanfiction, **

**Emerald**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello again to my fair peoples! I have actually had chapters 3-7 or 8 written for a loooooooonnnnnnnnnnngggggggg time. I want to say for a couple- wait *cough cough months cough cough.* Please forgivez meeeee!**

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Chapter 5

Luna P.O.V.

After what seemed like minutes, we landed on the ground to find ourselves in a room full of doors. It was quite a curious thing to find ourselves in a room with so many doors. It's a complete mystery where each one leads.

"Hey, Luna, can you help me open all of these doors? I think one of them will lead to a way out of here," Alice suggested, finally returning to a normal, more self-conscious state. I smiled. At least Alice was feeling better or something. Maybe she was just having a rather serious case of deja vu. It happens to me all the time! Maybe it's just the nargles. Then again, I have been told I'm rather queer; maybe it's just me…

Alice walked around the room quickly rattling each doorknob before moving on. Each time, Alice seemed to find them locked tight. Disappointed, Alice slumped down on the floor against a door. She muttered something under her breath that sounded like "probably just a dream."

"Look, over there! The blibbering humdingers are saying we should go through that door!" I pointed in the direction that the blibbering humdingers were prancing around.

"Luna, there's no door there. It's just… just a curtain on the wall. Wait!" Alice beamed as she stood up from her slouched position on the floor. "I've got it!" She ran to the curtain and yanked it off with great force. As Alice drew the curtain away, I began to see a wall, then a frame, and then a tiny door. Alice got down on her knees and tried to peek through the keyhole. I couldn't tell what she was thinking, but from her devastated sigh, I assumed the door was locked.

Slowly, Alice turned around to the mysterious table that appeared in the middle of the room. Even I didn't notice it there at first, and I notice nearly everything- at least I think I do.

Anyways, on the table, there was a small bottle. In a very delicate script, a little parchment tag on the bottle read _drink me._ Alice picked up the miniature bottle and pulled off the cork. Soon, she took a whiff of the clear liquid inside. To me, it looked very much like Felix Felicis. Felix Felicis was also known as liquid luck. I wondered what Harry did with his…

Before I knew it, Alice held the bottle up to her lips and choked it down. She was literally coughing as she forced it down her throat. Meanwhile, I was searching through my radish bag for my wand. Then, I heard a sort of squeaking voice. I looked down to see my cousin Alice lying on the ground. Spectacular! The vial contained a shrinking potion and it wasn't even a rather nauseating green! Alice ran with her tiny little legs towards the door. I watched in pure amazement as she rattled it open only to find it locked tight.

"Well that's just great," Alice whined. I looked around my radish bag a little more. Luckily, I found my wand under the crumple-horned snorcacks. They're rather heavy if you didn't know. Using a shrinking charm, I charmed myself down to Alice's size.

Before telling Alice it was hopeless, I noticed a peculiar box underneath the table. "Look over there," I pointed out to Alice. Alice walked over to the box and lifted the lid with a lot of force. Inside, lay a little cake. Much like the bottle, the cake had a little parchment card the read _eat me._

Although she was hesitant this time, Alice took a small bite of the cake. Moments later, Alice began to grow before my eyes.

Soon, Alice was bracing herself against the walls and ceiling of the room. I held my hand out to see if the fairies were causing it to rain, but instead, a little chunk of the ornately decorated ceiling feel into my hands. On the other hand, it must have been the size of a spec of dust seeing as I was still quite miniscule. Without hesitation, Alice picked up the bottle and drank a few drops of the see through liquid. Instantly, Alice shrunk down to her regular size. With a sigh of relief, Alice walked over to the table, picked up the key, and walked over to the small door before shoving the key in the hole and jiggling it around to unlock it. Then she pushed it open to reveal a small opening.

With a skip and a step, Alice was back at the table raising the glass bottle to her lips. Before you could say, "Hippogriffs and thestrals are chasing after me for my dead albino ferrets," Alice was back to our presumably tiny size. I turned around placing my wand behind my ear like muggles would do with a pen or pencil.

"Come on, Alice, we have something called a Jabberwocky to kill," I said cheerfully. The nargles had told me to say it.

Alice gave me a funny glare as if I was insane. Then again, we probably were.

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**Hey, guuuuuuuuuuueeeeeeeeeeessssssssssssssssss whhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aatttttttttttttttt?!**

**Read, Review, and post any other random things you think I should hear**

**Your fellow fanfiction thing- I mean Trekkie,**

**Emerald :)**

**P.S. Expect faster updates until school starts again.**


	6. Chapter 6

**I'M BACK- FINALLY!**

**Hey guys, sorry it takes me forever to update. I know, I know. You probably hate me right now. I would hate me to if I were in your place, but I am not because if I were, I would not be writing this story. Since I would not be writing this story, you would not be reading it, and if you were not reading it, then of course you wouldn't hat me for not updating. Ironically enough, despite the fact it is summer, I am doing much less updating. I decided that I would wait until summer is over to restart writing for Three Worlds, Three Fates, and Three prophecies. Please read the footnote too.**

**DISCLAIMER: I know I haven't been posting disclaimers, but if I were J.K. Rowling or Lewis Caroll, or the people who directed this version of the movie, would I really be here wasting my life writing fanfictions? I think not. Luckily, I have the beautiful privilege of wasting my life reading. :)**

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Chapter 6

Luna Lovegood P.O.V.

The door opened to reveal a series of floating rock platforms like stairs leading down to an exceptionally lovely garden.

"Well, we can't sit here all day now can we," said Alice giving me a clever smile.

"No, no we can't," I replied catching the fairly contagious smile.

Hand in hand, Alice and I jumped down the steps to land in the garden. As it turned out, the flowers had faces and could talk.

"Is that the Alice the white rabbit was talking about?" whispered a rather shy violet.

"Maybe she's just a FRAUD like all the others!" said a pug-faced pansy clearly wanting to annoy Alice.

"Who's that with her? The scroll never said anything about ANOTHER one," said the other pug-faced pansy by the first. They sort of reminded me of Parkinson. Maybe they were related. Daddy said I might be related to the water nymphs, but I told him he was being silly. Everyone knows I could never be related to the water nymphs; I'm related to the wood nymphs, seeing as they appreciate dirigible plums and radishes.

Ignoring the talking flowers, Alice and I continued down the garden path. Soon, we came across the funny white rabbit again. After noticing us, it began to dash away. I gave Alice a knowing look and she nodded in return. Quickly, we chased after the white rabbit.

As we turned a corner, we ran into an extremely odd crew. In the mass of people, there were the rabbit himself, a set of rather strange looking twins, a dodo bird, and a dormouse.

"Wouldn't she remember all of this from her first adventure?" the dodo whispered to the others.

"You brought the wrong Alice _again_," The dormouse said in a bored monotone.

"I'm telling you, she must be the right Alice. At least, one of them is," The rabbit argued.

"That is exactly what you said about all of the _other_ Alices," Replied the dormouse.

"I'm positive. One of them is the right Alice," The rabbit whined.

"Speaking of which," the dormouse squeaked, "are both of you Alice?"

"If I may, my name is not Alice. I'm Luna," I said feeling small. Although, I don't think I felt nearly as small as the dormouse does everyday. What a poor little thing.

"The other one doesn't really look like the right Alice," Someone yelled out loud.

"That's because she is not the right Alice!" The dormouse said infuriated while stomping his foot to the ground.

"Pardon me," Alice interrupted "but how can I be the wrong Alice when this is all just me dreaming? It is a dream right, Luna?"

I shrugged my shoulders. I wasn't even sure if I was merely a hallucination myself.

"Who are you curious people anyways?" I asked with genuine curiosity.

A rather fat arm rose from out of the crowd. "I'm Tweedledum."

"No you're not, you're Tweedledee," Another voice called out as an identical figure, which was equally as bald, and fat stepped from out of the crowd.

"Are you positive?" the first one said.

"Quite," Replied the second Tweedle.

"Well, then I am Tweedledee," The original added.

"You rather remind me of someone I know. Well actually, a pair of twins much like yourselves," Alice said cunningly.

"There's no one like us anywhere," argued one of the large boys.

"We're two of a kind!" agreed the other.

"How can you be two of a kind?" I asked curiously.

"Maybe she's right…" muttered the Tweedles to themselves. Funny little things they were. Well, big things I guess.

Meanwhile, the rabbit and the dormouse were still busy arguing if whether or not Alice was, and I quote, 'the real Alice.'

At last, the white rabbit threw his hands up into the air as if a sign of defeat.

"At least let us ask Absolem!" the rabbit shouted.

"Fine," muttered the dormouse.

The rabbit had a smug face on as he hopped away. Naturally, all of us followed him to this 'Absolem'.

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**Fun Fact: This fanfiction is actually 21 pages long as of what I've typed. You are actually missing another two chapters I'll post next week for sure.**

**To be 100% honest, I've been to busy reading fanfics to write them.**

**Review pleazez. (I know pleazez is not a word)**


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